People need to hold themselves accountable...

I've had this thought on my mind for a while now and finally decided in the season of the Gemini, to purge, especially since my Birthday is coming up! Time to start anew on my personal new year.

Why do people not believe what another person shows them about themselves, then become extremely upset with that person, when this person is just being/doing what they said/displayed? Any person you deal with shows you the type of person they are, we get examples of their character the more we interact with them. And if all else fails there is always the word of the person! I'm sure your wondering what my point is, right? I have an example that I see quite often, first here is my only disclaimer: I am not directing this towards any one person or persons.

Here is the example: Girl is involved with boy, its semi serious or not serious at all, you choose. Girl gets pregnant and tells boy, boy says " I don't want a kid right now, don't have it." or " I'm not fucking with it..." Girl proceeds to go thru the preganacy alone with little to no help from boy and then the baby arrives. With baby here boy is still somewhat to not present in both lives, girl takes to friends, family, his family and THE INTERNET to gripe and cuss out boy.

I'm going to prove my point in sections!

First- Why waste energy being upset, disgusted, bitter and angry over something when you were already TOLD how it was going to be? The dude (I can not fix my mouth to call him a man) said he wanted no parts of you or the baby. Personally, the shock would be if he had a change of heart and actively participated in the childs life. Your stress level would decrease majorly if instead of taking your energy and hating him, you formed a game plan of raising your child to not be overly affected by the absence of father . I feel like alot of women place themselves in to the bitter circle on purpose and then inadvertingly raise their child into the same circle. It is actually much easier to not be bitter, you already knew where he wasn't going to be, it wasn't a surprise.

Second- This is where accountability comes into play. When something happens are you the type of person who sits back and looks at the situation and think " this is where I messed up and this is where they messed up!" Or do you think " I can't believe this muthafucka is doing this TO ME!" Some people would consider the first approach "beating yourself up," when in reality the second approach is "setting yourself up," which is way more dangerous. When we evaluate the situation from all angles we can identify the disconnect and can approach the situation (if it is an ongoing situation) or future situations differently. Simply, we learn from OUR mistakes as well as mistakes of others.

Third- Yes some people aren't shit! We all get it! But when you continuously interact with the person and get the same results and then take to your soapbox about it.... you look dumber than the person your trying to roast.

We are a generation of "PERFECT" fuck ups, no one can step up and say "Damn, that's me, I fucked that up, I made a mistake!" Everyone wants to blame someone or something else, nevermind that over 50% of the mistake may be yours, you can always find where someone else is at fault. I just wish alot of people, men and women, could grow up and own up, hold themselves accountable for their mistakes. And "I know I did this , but you did that" is not owning up, it's still passing the buck. I have been gulity of uttering those same exact words. But I surely find myself living a lot less of a stressful life, surrounded by true, loving and HONEST friends, now that I know how to hold myself accountable for my screw ups and let the other person decide if they are accountable or not.

I am no one's judge, I simply let God have his job!